Thursday, September 30, 2010

♥ damn!

tak sangka hari ni sudah 2 months kteorg cpl. ak sesungguhnya teramat sangat lupa about that after goin out with my beloved boyfriend. adoi! tadi pagi seriously ingat. den bla keluar p gurney semua serious shit totally forgot about it. bukan ak sengaja lupa dan bukan juga ak lupakan kerana ak tak sayang dia. ak sayang dia sangat. so gaduh lagi. sebab ak tringin sangat nk shisha. bodoh betul. urghhh..fuck gila..ak nak keluar dgn dia lagi. rite now. mintak maaf menyusahkan dia. i wish i could meet him again tonite b4 the clock strike 12.01am. i wanted to tell him how much i love him. ak harap dpat la ubah masalah ni secepat mungkin. kalau la ada moto. ada keta. da lama ak jumpa dia now. perbuatan ak ni bdoh sekali. i waste his stupid minyak moto. p blek smua. mintak maaf sangt2. ak besalah tramat sgt dlm hal ni. wish could tell u im sorry!

I AM GRUMPY.
5:44 AM

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

♥ back to normal

its thursday. i didnt go to school. semalam begaduh truk2nya ari ni baik plak. apa cer nie de? huhu. entah la. today its our anniversary. k la. we start a new life. forget the past. dia explain why dia marah semalam pada ak tadi. dia ckp ak cakar dia. tak sangka ak bole buat centu. kuku pon da ckup pendek bagi perempuan. but dia ckp still tajam. so secara tidak sengaja ak yg besalah. just nvm. semua ni bpunca dari ak. aku yg main2 lari semua. ak sentiasa salah sbb ak tak ckup umo. pmikiran tak la matang sangat kan3. dia expect ak lebih dewasa mcm kawan2 gf dia. forget about it laa.

today. dia bwak ak g makan kat cargas. huuhhh sedap! trima kasih. im really appriciated it. im happy and he is too.. hee~. ilovehim!. thnx for everything. saya suke kalau tiap2 ari mcm ni. new life la katakan.
1. nak bf saya baik sentiasa
2. sama2 la kena adil
3. juga betolak ansur
4. ego kena rendah sket
5. kalau marah kena ckp elok2.
6. tak nak keluar selalu kalau tak tiap2 ari gaduh
7. need some respect too even though im 16
8. always control our anger
9. tak nak naek tangan dayus namanye.
10. jgn tinggikan suara antara satu same laen.

tinggikan suara 2 la paling ak takut. sebab 2 la ak dok diam. kalau tipu pon kena kalau tak tipu pon kena so takut!.

I AM GRUMPY.
9:39 PM

♥ fuck day ever

hari demi hari, wajahku tidak bsinar lagi, ak sedih dengan segala apa yg tjadi dalam hidup ak. tahu kan masalah ak? tapi secara tidak sengaja tambah lagi satu masalah besar. masalah yg tidak la tramat penting. engkau maha adil. tolong la tunjukkan kepada dia bahawa ak sangat mencintai dia sampaikan ak lupa diri ak. sehingga hari ini. ak tidak langsung tahu menahu kenapa kami sering bergaduh. bukan sahaja bergaduh tetapi tangan juga naik. ak rasa ak yg bersalah atas semua kesalahan ini. hari ini kami bgaduh slepas bermain bowling. ak mahu bagi jam tangan kesayangan dia(exgf bagi) tetapi saje la ak main2 tak maw bgi. saja lari dari dia. lepas 2 dia dapat tangkap ak. huhh best dapat ddk dlm dakapan dia. baju blakang ak kan tselak. so sajela ak pon selak baju dia. den tiba2 secara tidak sengaja ak tpijak slipar dia. den slipar dia tputus. dia pon ape lagi,marah la. ak benar2 rasa kesal atas joke yg ak nk buat tadi. dia tarik rambut ak tarik juga baju ak. ak trauma dengan dia. ak takut bakal suami ak akn mnjadi seorang yg panas baran. ak tahu dia mahu baling helmet dekat ak. sanggup bf kesayangan ak buat begini. tinggi suara. ya allah ak takut hilang dia. tetapi juga ak takut akan dia. cara dia ckp. disini saja la tempat luahan isi hati ak. hanya kerana jam tangan itu kami bergaduh. ak syg dia teramat sgt. tetapi mcm mana ak mahu tunjukan itu kepada dia. ada saja bantahan. he is just like a monster. im afraid of him. itu rasanya nikmat marah. ya allah tolongla ak. lembutkan la hati dia dan anggapla benda ni semua hanya satu pengajaran. ampun jikalau ak ada buat hati kau kecewa.

I AM GRUMPY.
9:38 AM

Monday, September 27, 2010

♥ 27th sept

hari yg paling sial penah jadi. mum said im stupid and everything. so i decided to run away. stay in kl for good. kepada kawan2 i will see you in these 2 weeks. then see ya. then ada la orang tu. buat kacau. he made me feel soooo sakit hati. and very sad. dya pecah hati saya!. dya mahu tinggal saya juga. but msa berlalu dengan cepat. dya cpl balik dengan sya. alhamdulilah. trima kasih allah. kerana masih mmberi jodoh kepada kami. supaya engkau memangjangkan perjodohan kami walaupun kami berjauhan.

I AM GRUMPY.
8:58 AM

Saturday, September 25, 2010

♥ searching for happiness

dear god, please hear my prays everyday.please make me happy. please make my wish come true and please open her heart. she is ashamed of us. i just dont understand why. dear god, i wish she treats me like others. im not interfering her life. i dont ask for her money anymore. i did everything she wants me to do. but why is she still be unfair to me. sometimes she annoys me so much. nagging everyday. she is still my mum. i do treated her very good. like a good child. i wish to not cry everyday. i wish she could be the best mum like what i want. i want a mum who treats me like her child. i want her to be proud of who i am eventhough my school result isnt that good. she should encourage me alot. i love her very much but when she behave like this i felt hurt. i felt like suicide. i dont have friends. i meant girl friends.. im searching for someone. then i found muhamad syamrul elfy who is currently my bf. he made my life feel more useful. im glad i found him but he dont want me to hangout or goin out with my boy friends. therefore i dont have any friends. i only have him. he guides me back to life. the way i used to be before. his my happiness but mum doesnt want me to be friend with anyone. she made me suffer alot. i hope u will be like mum that give happiness always. i love you!

I AM GRUMPY.
10:55 AM

Thursday, September 23, 2010

♥ life on september

today is friday. the 24th sept 2010. i was proud of myself coz i wen to school everyday. haha. on 18th october will be my last exam in malaysia. then i will be going back to perth to continue my study. its a shame that i have to leave my boyfriend which stays in malaysia. but i think study is way more important. after study u can do what ever u like. tomorrow gonna be really fun.
my life are so much different than before. this blog is like a diary to me coz i express all my feeling my story my life and everything. my blog is just about an ordinary girl's life. haha XD

@ i miss japanese. i miss my friends in perth. i miss mum. but hey i will have the chance to go back to perth which is this december i think. btw, i wanted contact lenses. i found a shop which is erm buy 3 contact lenses and u will get 1 free. it cost about RM39 per lense. RM39 x 3 = RM 117 so i think it will cost about AUD39. which is cheaper than i thought. just WOW!. i want it!. name of the shop is (barbie dreamworld). OMG totally love it.

@ i would love to have some new pen pal friends. its gona be fun. then i have the chance to experience the life outside malaysia.

@ i was thinking about why people said they arent the lucky coz they dont get what they want right? if you want to get what u want u need to work hard for it and make sure u dont give up. oke!.

@ i want conad's nail art too. in malaysia, i cant even find it. the only way to get it is from e-bay. omg. i want it so bad. ngee~

I AM GRUMPY.
11:37 PM